Date: Fri, 20 Dec 1996 08:23:25 -0500 From: Ron Van Ness Subject: Holiday Bus Songs (F) In the age-old Walkerian tradition (oops, sorry Joel, "time-honored", that is ;), here are a few holiday bus songs for y'all for the yule. (sung to the tune of Rudolf the Red-nosed Reindeer) You know John Muir and Gene Berg and Hoover and Fisher, Pauter and Wilson and Ferdinand Porsche, But where are they all... Without the original Bus Nut we call: Ben Pon the idle doodler, Had a very bright idea, Visions of boxey transport, Aircooled power in the rear. While all the top designers, Fiddled in their shops with frames, Carefully German welders, Plotted uni-body's fame! As the bus sold 'round the world, People came to say, Here's a van that's tough and cute, Volkswagen's saved the day! Oh how the people drove them, Using them for work and play, Smiling and flashing peace signs, Truckin' down the world's highways! Silent Bus (sung to the tune of Silent Night) Silent Bus, Broken-down bus, All is shot, Rockers rot. Comes a rescuer, Bearing tools, Sees the bus, He begins to drool. Soon the engine will purr, Bungeed transmission secure. (verse 2) Customized Bus, Radical bus, Chopped and lowered, Billetized doors. Ready to drag, Eager to win, Engine blows quick, It's the chrome-plated tin! Off to shows for awards, Scoffed by the resto-freak hordes. (verse 3) Traveling bus, Hippyed-out bus, Hiding joints, Among the rust. Peace and love, On Route 66, Watch for the rednecks Out in the sticks. Roaming free as a bird, Farfergnuegen endures. (verse 4) Off-roading bus, Four wheeling nuts, Make the grade, But loose their lunch. Syncro engaged and, Having no fear, Spraying the mud, As they struggle to steer. Soon a trail will be born, Paved by VW's spawn. (verse 5) Resto-bus, Clear coated bus, Try to find, A speck of rust. OEM panels are Welded in place, Scratcha da paint, I breaka ya face! Yonder the poor house looms, If not the funny farm soon. (sung to the tune of Deck the Halls) Dress the valves with grinding compound, Rub them back and forth and check for seal Torque the studs with proper foot pounds, Gradually at first, not too much zeal. Paint your jugs black Hooveresquely, Wash the bores, check the rings, use kid gloves, Building engines can be stressing, One false move and you, are out of luck. (sung to the tune of Oh Little Town of Bethlehem) Oh little split equipped to camp, Up hills you slowly rise, The steepest grades you yearn to pass, As frantic cars blow by. And in your bowels is smoldering, A valve about to burn, With hope and fear you crest the hill, And pray your luck will turn. Oh camper bus you are my home I sleep in your interior, I pop the top and lay awake, To stare at your veneer. VW was your father, Westfalia dressed you well, With just some oil and simple tools, I'll drive you here to hell. Happy holidays everyone! Ron rvanness@neuron.uchc.edu 71 Westy ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Fri, 20 Dec 1996 10:27:41 -0600 From: Bob Hufford Subject: Jingle Bus (F) To the tune of Jingle Bells: Dashing thru the snow In a Bus that's Red and Grey Got my BN2 Cranked up all the way ... (everybody sing!) Bob Hufford Transporter Search & Rescue bhufford@mail.orion.org ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Fri, 20 Dec 1996 11:44:25 -0500 From: Ron Van Ness Subject: Re: Jingle Bus (F) >To the tune of Jingle Bells: > >Dashing thru the snow >In a Bus that's Red and Grey >Got my BN2 >Cranked up all the way ... Bull bars on the front, Bumping bucks and does, Add more flames onto this thread I'll punch you in the nose! Oh, splitty bus, splitty bus, Driven like a sleigh, Four bald tires and bailing wire Won't get you on your way! Oh, splitty bus, splitty bus, Howling from the rear, Add some oil or more turmoil Will bite you in the rear! Ron rvanness@neuron.uchc.edu 71 Westy ----------------------------------------------------------------------